i love your company

i got an iphone today, tehehe. my dad kept trying to guilt trip me out of buying it. being the spite filled little teenager that i am, i only wanted to buy it more everytime my dad expressed his hatred of apple and pointed out that microsoft holds 95% of "the stock." (is that even relevant to me???? i'm buying an iphone not a macbook.) i had a sk3 and it was always pretty good to me, but i was getting really tired of it. i kept it for a year and 6 months, which i think is alright. most people trade up before then, right? i don't ask for a lot. i'm not looking to justify the mildly rediculous purchase i made today, but i really don't. it's surprising now that i think on it. clothes are basically all i ever buy. and all the clothes i buy are on sale. i didn't ask for anything for christmas. half of it was because i am too much of a preoccupied jerk to be bothered with the 10 or so minutes it would have taken for me to reflect and come up with a "list," and i'm pretty sure the other half was because had i made a list, that would have meant i would have gotten my hopes up for everything on it. i have a huge fear of rejection, it's almost bizarre. i laid in bed until 11 on christmas morning. when i went downstairs i tried to do so really quietly and open all the stuff i got without waking anyone up. my dad was already down there and i could have cried. i didn't want anyone to see me open anything because i didn't want my parents to see the disappointment on my face and feel like it was their fault, because it wasen't. it's just how i am. when i read this post back i know that i am going to sound like a melodramatic ~*tortured soul*~ but it's the truth. and i guess that's what this blog was intended for in the first place.